I Want.

A person who wants to get coffee at 2:45 in the morning regardless if we've been out drinking or not.

To listen to music so loud that my clothes ripple from the waves.

Take a trip to Europe and Australia and see all of the bands I have been listening too forever. Particularly Radiohead.

Get road side sushi in Japan from a street vendor. Get sick. Do it again.

A running/swimming/cycling/scuba diving/climbing/music listening to partner.

A photographer.

Someone with boobs. Preferably a vagina too.

Fly helicopters for tourists in other countries who are on skiing trips and move to a new country every 3-6 months.

Sky dive.

Catch a shark. My line got tangled with someone else's so I may have already.

Catch a shark. Again.

Create something that I like as much as other people. Something good.

Like someone as much as they like me.

Learn to code. Better.

Get a travel show. Pwn Anthony Bourdaine and Andrew Zimmer.

Create something new. The iPod was my idea. Thanks Steve.

Make a sculpture of a person.

Drive a car in a street race. Win.

See all of my old friends and introduce them to each other.

Write a better blog.

Some night...

Been A While

So, it's been a moment since I last left an entry here. If you keep up with this thing then you might have noticed me deleting certain entries (things I wrote about a girl when I was drunk...). So I figured I should come out of my shell this sunday night and drop some knowledge about things going on and recent events.

School for the Warrior started recently and I have been flying it lately. It's much better than the Shadow, thank god.

Randi and I are still talking but it's most definitely not going to be a relationship again. She, as they say, "screwed the pooch". I am seeing someone else now though. Her name is Amanda and she is pretty awesome. Soon, she will be graduating from college and getting a job at the Phoenix crime lab. She is a forensic scientist of sorts. Anyway, this thing is about me being self absorbed and not so much about the other people in my life. So let's get back on that track.

Friday night, my friend and I took a night away from the girlfriends and got a hotel in Tucson near downtown. The hotel, Inn Suites, was pretty great. They give their guests free beer during happy hour so we pre-gamed there. From there we headed out to downtown via walking.

We arrived at Club Congress, which is part of Hotel Congress and I ordered two gin and tonics for the two of us. They were alright but we were easily distracted by the questionable gender of the girl/man sitting next to us. From there we walked to a place called the Surly Wench. Some alternative/scream/metal/indie band was playing and we ordered two beers. The band was enjoyable, mostly the bass. Pretty sure my attire didn't fit as well as my friends but that's alright. I tend to dress casual and the place was most definitely a rock club of sorts. The kind of place that would play Rocky Horror Picture Show...

We decided that the prospects for anything other than seeing this band that was just alright there were not very high and we had already planned to stumble around town so we left. We then went to O'Malleys. Do not go there to drink. Compared to everywhere else we were that night it was the most expansive and most "chainy". So we popped out of there pretty quick like. We then walked a block over to Maloney's. I don't know if the place is a chain, I wouldn't be surprised but nonetheless, I like it. We both had Red Stripes. Some girl was checking me out but alas, I'm no longer single again. Not really sure where my standing is though, I am her boyfriend and she is my girlfriend we established that but I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole deal. It's kind of a long story.

So...

We left Maloney's and headed back to Club Congres and had two white russians. I made the bartender put cherries in my friends drink. He bitched, like a woman, then ate the cherries, like a woman. We were hit on by older women. When I say older, I don't think it would be a leap to think possibly 40's-50's. It was strange/flattering. The place is kind of odd. I noticed that there were both people our age and older people hanging out at the same place. Obviously very hip... I guess.

We walked back to Maloney's after that and ordered some huge beer. They called it a pint; it was most definitely not. It was massive. I'll drop a picture of it later on here. The bartender, the one who served us the red stripes, must not have noticed we left. It was busy when we did in his defense. He asked us, stated, if we had been there the whole time. After putting down that massive beer we decided to call it a night. Sadly, it did not end there.

On our way home, we noticed music, lights, and people coming out of what we later found out was a school. Apparently, some promotions were being done for this local DJ and dance squad (not school type, the "Bring it On" kind, B boys and girls). We got in after some talking to the people running the door and entered into an interesting scene, complete with lasers and strobes and topless women. We watched the dancing and I participated in a bit. We talked to some guys there and headed outside. On our way home we noticed they were following us and it appeared or at least the idea popped into both of our heads at the same time that they were going to mug us. We talked to them again for a moment and started to walk with them. I whispered to my friend to get ready to run and then we did.

If you know me, you know I'm fast. We left them pretty quick like. I decided to jump over this rail in a court yard to get to the other side and back onto the sidewalk. I didn't expect the ground to not be there. I fell 20 feet. Thankfully, before my friend hopped over he looked to see myself sprawled on the ground 20 below. He thought i was hiding on the other side of the rail (so I know this was not a drunk mistake). He yelled down to me and I kinda of moaned an "alright". We continued running home (I wish I wouldn't have). Blood was coming out of both of my palms.

The next day I felt like crap, which was understandable, no hangover though. Today I went to the hospital for X-rays. I have no broken bones but sever bruising and a swollen foot. My entire right side feels like I fell 20 feet... Which I did. I'm on crutches now.

Ten Things ( I Got Tagged... )

So a friend of mine recently tagged me in his blog to fill out ten facts about myself. See his blog here. When I finished reading it, I was actually compelled to do something of similar standing but once I reached the end I saw I didn't have much of a choice. Such as the unspoken rules of the road or the code of smokers I believe in blogging something I have been tagged; granted it's not how much I like puppy dogs or flowers... myspace chain blogs, eck.

The first thing you should know about me...

I am constantly changing. Growing, regressing, evolving, there is almost always something new about me after 2 months. Whether it be a shift in musical taste, my outlook, my attitude, or my goals. Something is always "New".

This is probably a good reason that people who are not physically around me may be taken off guard or I may lose contact with someone whom I once shared an interest with. The changes aren't instantaneous or on purpose. I don't wake up one morning and decide that I will now only wear clothes with the colors black and white or that when I was once so involved in a particular group I no longer have anything to do with their ideas or activities. A good reason why I don't have any tattoos.

Fact 2

My friends are not like me.

It is often said that who you associate with is who you are. I am a walking contradiction of this statement. Most of my friends, here, are bellicose drunks with a good lack of motivation and terrible taste in music and/or fashion sense. There was a time where I would have said the same about being similar to those I associate with but these days there appears to be no one like me around here. I do not feel the need to continuously party or drink myself into oblivion.

Another statement that comes to mind when writing this is opposites attract. If that is true then doesn't that mean that your friends or significant other will most likely be not much like you. Obviously, we are attracted to cliques and people with similar values, ideas, tastes, or hobbies but this does not mean we have to be cookie cutter molds of the people which we associate with.

Fact 3

Learning to dance is hard for me. I want to know how like a wolf wants the fresh blood of a rabbit on it's teeth during a snow in November and I try very hard when the chance and opportunity is presented the fact is, I am really not very good. Maybe with practice I will get better.

Fact 4

So, my friend posted on his blog a near death experience and I figured I would match his with a near death experience of my own. The problem being that the most recent has been blogged by me already and I'm pretty sure if you read any of this flap-doodle (yes, I used a thesaurus) that I regurgitate onto the interweb you have most likely already read it. Anyway, I will be reposting it for a lack of motivation to find another experience or one that I particularly want to write about. Sure, I could hold your interest with a story about running from an exploding generator hit by a mortar in Iraq but there was no beauty in the grime of the tale. It also bores me to speak about Iraq. So here, I give you the tale of a high speed ATV wreck.

The difference in falling off of a skate board and motorcycle is apparently the speed factor. This week i was driving an ATV, very fast, down a dirt road and began to fish tail. During the fish tail, I drove over a cattle guard. It was then that my ass and head became one and thoughts of what angle my head would be in comparison to my chest and neck started to surround me. As my shoulders turned a cool 45 degrees and i became an angel floating over the handlebars of the ATV I stared respectively at the ground zooming beneath my limp body wondering if this was going to be where i would die.

The scenery was perfect for death, I could only hope for something as beautiful for when i really do go. My face filled with the rush of air and my body weightless literally flying and barrel rolling at a comfortable speed. The ground, the sky, the ground, and once again the sky coming into view. The sun was just beaming in through a cloud to create little rays of light all around and the air was crisp. Truly, a beautiful sight.

Nothing jerky or sporadic like you might expect in a car crash. Until I hit the ground I was in complete bliss, which felt like it lasted forever. But, I did, in fact, hit the ground and eventually it stopped being bliss and turned into searing pain.

I could feel the skin on my left shoulder turning into a piece of shredded leather against the rough dirt on the road; my head bouncing off of the ground like a ball on the end of a door stop. Bliss had surely ended. A glimpse of the ATV spinning and rolling in the air behind me left a thought of The Matrix, and terror. That really cool scene when they take the highway. A film script death, how fortunate was I.

The sliding came to an end and the urge to immediately get to my feet was unstoppable. I might have made it to my feet had it not been for my head feeling like it was smashed by a sledgehammer when I tried to move. The feeling subsided after a moment and the realization of the possibility of being crushed by the ATV quickly returned. When i sat up, the ATV was awaiting my return only a step away from my pain drenched body.

I'm not seriously injured, if you were wondering. I don't really know if I learned a lesson from all of this but it was fun, did I forget to mention terrifying?

Fact 5

No it does not bother me to let you look at my phone. Feel free to take a picture of yourself, add your number and then attach that picture, surf the internet, check your stocks, get directions, check your email, calculate your tip at the end of a meal, listen to one of the songs I loaded. After I let you see it and enjoy it's neatness, do not tell me how I'm dumb for buying such an expensive phone. I can think of few traits I dislike more than contemptuous jealousy. I don't so much mind some one admiring something and then making a comment such as a praise with the hint of longing but don't make me feel bad because your hobbies, lifestyle, family (mostly wife), or bank account will not allow you to have something that you wish you could.

My phone was not bought because it was what it is. I used to have a blackberry 8700 and I loved it. To this day, I still say it was the best phone I ever had. It didn't have a camera, mp3 player, or automatically give me directions with google earth maps but it could immediately download my emails (with out pictures). My new phone takes at least 15 minutes and you without a phone that does email may not understand what kind of downer that can have on your day. I use emails like text messages with many of my friends and coworkers who have mobile devices that can also instantly check email. If i receive an email asking me to eat somewhere or the codes to something or the whereabouts of something or that I just passed my turn, I miss out. This really is a trivial worry, to be quite honest, I don't worry about it, much. I am comparing my old phone to my new one though and that's the only downfall I see that I was used too in my other device.

Fact 6

Cock blocking is not cool. If you go to a party and someone says that there will be girls there and you ask them there plans about it and they say nothing, then it's fair game. If you have been talking to a girl and one of your friends is continuously revealing personal things and moments and downplaying you, they should be punched in the face. To take it a step further, if you happen to be laying in bed, in another room, in the dark, talking quietly, your "friend" should not be yelling these things or telling jokes from the other side of the door. This happened to me this weekend. I did however impress myself and still get a date with the female. Today at work though, I made sure that people knew of his cock blocking nature and he was subject to much ridicule. He has since apologized, mentioned how nice it was that I was able to meet this girl, and continuously change the subject whenever brought up.

I was not really sure how to handle the situation and felt very awkward so I would occasionally reply to him in hopes he would stop acting as though he was 12. It is very clear to me now why he has never had a girlfriend and has only had sex (which is debatable) once in his life and that involved a girl drinking everclear, crying, and being vomited on and only happened recently upon me explaining that it was surely not the most important thing in life but it was one of those things that should be on his to do list, like, soon.

I doubt I will be going to parties or many gatherings with this individual anytime soon or again.

Fact 7

I constantly hope that others share the same thoughts and worries that I do. I hope people are more wrapped up in what they are doing than they notice that I am acting awkward or sometimes exist. I don't really act that awkward, I know this. Still, sometimes it feels like I'm continuously falling , physically and mentally, into an ungraceful line of actions that will sure make me look like an idiot. To those of you who voted me most confident on all these nonsense quizzes and questionnaires, this may seem shocking. I tend to find humor in it myself and accept that some things I do will just not go right (when in fact most things work out for me very well).

My thoughts are sometimes very dark and frighten even myself. That being said, I am actually pretty happy and comfortable with myself and the things I do.

Fact 8

Lets lighten the mood, shall we?

Ryan touched heavily on the fact of mainstream culture influencing personalities and the homogenization of society. If you have ever seen Idiocracy you might be acquainted with the thought of the decline in culture. I say Idiocracy because it tells a fun story about the decline of civilization and how laziness tends to be the root of most if not all of these cultural changes.

After seeing Idiocracy I had a flight from Nashville to North Carolina. It was very early and I was very hungry. Usually, a snack machine raid is something I would never think about but I was desperate for nourishment, even if it led to feeling ill later. I bought a "Big AZZ Burger". As I was buying it, a young man in his teens wearing a black hooded sweatshirt adorned with "Orange County" and flames and studs was buying a "Monster" energy drink. I don't really know exactly how to say that this was a confirmation of the idiocy of our society but it was definitely a trailer park moment where I was eating what I like to refer to as "Nascar" food with a "Nascar" crowd. Mostly, it was tacky. I guess the Big AZZ burger is proof of marketing to the average individual who is more interested in pictures of woody wood pecker sodomizing other creatures than say a simple picture of a house or a sunrise or even of a burger called sexy burger. If any advertiser reads this PLEASE DONT MAKE A SEXY BURGER!


Fact 9

This breakup with Randi has been much harder than I have let on. I'm not going to tell you all about it. It just feels saddening to think of how much she loved me and how opposite we were. Long story short, she's very mean.

Fact 10

According to Nostradamus and the Mayan calendar the world will end in 2012. The Mayan calendar actually alludes to a drastic change, a revolution if you will of the Earth and my not be the extinction of the human race. I'm not so sure that if the Earth decided to eradicate us I would blame it. Still, I'm kinda on that team that will be destroyed. My only real worry is if I'll still be in the Army and not had the chance to accomplish all of the things that I have been longing to do for so long.

People say the world will end every day, one day, someone will be right.

I guess this blog ended up being more of a bitch session and one of telling you about my fears and worries but that's just what came out. I told someone I would be thinking of what to write today at work but that turned out to be a lie. This blog is totally winged off of the top of my head.

Thursdays Feel Like Fridays

Bud called today. Asked me if I would be interested in being a back up DJ at Pinups, it's a "titty bar". Should be interesting. Of course, I don't expect to change anyone's life by playing amazing music in a location such as this. Hell, the naked women aren't changing anyone's lives other than the weight their wallets put on their backs.

I will be heading up to Tucson again this weekend. A guy I work with has agreed to help me change my oil in my overly non environmentally friendly American SUV. I'll spend some time riding my bike around the city during the day and at night I'll hit up some of the haunts downtown. Recently, I stumbled across Tucson Underground. It lists interesting places to hang out for people a little less associate with the sounds of Britney Spears (stop making fun of her and leave britney alone!!!!!!....). Hopefully I can stumbled across some cool bands and meet some new people who also appreciate music as much as I.

Discovered something neat. It's rare that I'm "behind the times" on anything internet related but I'm pretty sure I'm the last to find out about MediaFire. So, expect me to be posting mp3's and videos on here occasionally.

Been listening to Black Kids. Give em a looky loo and you can download (part of) their new album Wizard of Ahhhs for free.

Unwinding: A follow up

Friday night has came and went. I'm now sitting here reading a running magazine instead of cutting it up to paste on my wall like I had originally planned (part of a collage). Ordered a pizza and enjoyed a beer.

Domino's is apparently not keeping track of their workers or their money. I came to this conclusion after talking to the delivery woman who told me that payment for the pizza was not required and when on the phone I was told to sit by my phone so I could "rush out" to get my pizza. Many times when i have pizza delivered I enjoy a chat with the delivery person. Not once have I had to rush for anything ever delivered to me. I was under the impression that was why I pay the extra charge for delivery, so I may be able to answer the door after throwing clothing on a body which was previously nude and in no way ready to go outside in the cold or make a drive to Domino's.

Any way, let's talk about friday night. Friday shmiday. As I said before I had two offers.

The first being to go to Tucson to enjoy a night of beer and socializing. Lately I have been in the mood to talk to myself and maybe my possessions. A night on the town was a good idea considering the state I had been in. So I did. My friend Matt picked the first place to go because of the music he heard.

Matt back story: Matt is in the army band. He's pretty huge on music. Mostly though, he only likes and knows one genre, Electronic/dance/techno. He actually taught me how to DJ/remix/spin/etc.

So naturally, he choose the one place with the house beat oozing from the walls and wooden panels covering where windows once were. "IBT's" said the mat in front of the door. Neither of us knew what it stood for but he made a comment about it, as though he had seen it before, not completely sharing what it meant to him. Once entering the building, I immediately noticed the strange array of colors, rainbow. Television screens were above the bar and it was tuned to the "gay day channel". I was aware of a parade but imagine a channel that only comes on once a year or what ever anniversary it has set to be turned on once again. Around me were posters of men in Speedo "banana hammock's" that accentuated their "lump" with their hands caressing their bodies. I didn't necessarily feel uncomfortable as much as I felt out of place. I would not go to a hip hop club and expect to fit in as well as a coffee bar/lounge. We left shortly after arriving.

We then walked down to O'malleys, a chain I know from back home. Did some chatting with some people on the stipulations of the Arizona law on the amount of alcohol allowed to be legally held in a public place by one person. I'm not going to post it so you get bored and just stop reading here, look it up, it's strange. Watched some girls bat guys away from them and take pictures of themselves, I suppose for myspace or some other kind of online social network to advertise their underage drinking. Enjoyed a beer and left.

Went to Maloney's. Strange how bars here all have Irish names, I have always said that arizona knows best how to market. The entire fucking state reminds me of a god damn mall! Anyway, rum and coke, yadda yadda yadda.

Headed back to Matt's friends house and started to go to sleep. It was about 2 am when I got a call from Kelly.

The second offer was to spend time with a girl named Kelly. She didn't strike me as amazing or overly tacky the first time i met her. I guess the second time should have been a clue because she was on stage not wearing any clothes and guys were shoving dollars at her. A stripper.

She has another job and because I respect what it is I'm not going to say because I don't want this to get back to her. Let's say she instructs some military school where I'm located.

When she called at that time it was slightly exciting but also annoying. Exciting because of being with the same frigid girl for the past year and annoying because of having to drive that distance to get to her. As I'm sure you guessed, I made the drive. It went by quickly with me occasionally checking my breath and my appearance. When I got near enough to her for directions I couldn't find her house. Typical, I'm no Amerigo Vespucci.

She walked out to get me and bring me back to "her" house. When we pulled up I saw that there were other cars which inspired me to inquire about her roommates. She then informed me of living with her parents and a long elaborate story of ho she had roommates but left thm due to some drama. She must've noticed the story was disinteresting because about that time she stopped talking about it.

I don't particularly like dogs, they don't like me. My dog, sure, my dog likes me, after being around a dog for a while they love me, but never at first. She asked me if i liked dogs and I simply informed her no. When we walked into her house i was greeting by a massive german shepherd and instructed to let him smell my hand so he could greet me. He sniffed, he wailed, he jumped on me, I tried to relax. I heard a loud noise from the back of the house that sounded like yelling and could make out an older male voice. I had woken her dad up.

We went into her room which I was later informed was her sisters room. She showed me a good bit of movies to choose from but each one would have been better if before watching them you were given the choice to either nick your pupils with a sharp knife or to gouge them out completely with spoons. I couldn't believe i was going to go back out into the dogs territory for a movie but I did. I located a movie that looked like something I wanted to see, the dog parked, I left his area quickly.

We watched the movie for about an hour before there was a knock on the door.

Earlier she told me she was closing the door because her dad walked around the house naked before work. I convinced myself that by naked she meant underwear, surely not in the buff with a daughter in the house.

The door was opened by the knocker and I leaned forward to greet him when I found myself staring at what was a wrinkling bag of flesh and white hair. It was depressing, the first time I have ever seen an elderly person naked, the terrible things that happen to a body over time that will be eventually followed by death.

Babies are bad advertisements for humans. What with starting off so sweet and cute and then one day turning into something with rotting parts and social diseases and neurosis.

The sight was also disgusting.

Once the movie was over I was surprised I was still awake. She mentioned that I might not make it home, i think in hopes I might stay. Staying was my plan before I arrived. I got home at about 530 am.

Brigs me to my conclusion, I unwound, i had a good time. I enjoy my life to be strange, a journey of sorts. It was far from what I had planned but life always gives me exactly what I need to get by.

Unwind

This week has been absolute hell. What with work being a huge fiasco (lots of goings on, I'll blog them later) and my wanting to be back with Randi and her reply (which was one of rejection) I'm in need of a good night and some serious unwinding. I've got two offers for "parties" tonight. One is in Tucson with a good friend (who taught me how to spin records) and the other is with a girl here in Sierra Vista. I especially want to head up to Tucson tonight; only problem being a place to flop at tonight (which is in the works as I type). The other problem is the girl wants to get together much later tonight, lets say early morning... Which brings me to another point.

Today I got my civilian flight physical and was hoping to be doing some flying in Tucson this weekend. If I stay and wait for this girl here I'll be late and possibly forfeiting my flying lessons but I'm pretty sure it would be a good way to get over Randi... At the same time, I'm not quite sure if it's exactly the way I want to get over her, with another girl. I still feel deeply for her and I think I want to hold out for her. If I go to Tucson, well, I'll most likely be staying at someone else's house and that never makes me feel great when I don't totally know the person and I'm pretty sure it also wouldn't be congruent with getting my flying lessons started. I'll be bringing my backpack with my stuff for my lessons tomorrow regardless of the route I choose to take tonight but I'm wondering now if getting this stuff started tomorrow is even the best thing, possibly I should wait until Sunday. Most likely, I will do that.